Friday, May 5, 2006

Einstein

The message to me couldn’t be any clearer: “God doesn’t play dice with the universe.”

I know I haven’t updated my blog that much recently. I can’t say I was busy, because I know I can find the time to write if I wanted to. I think I was just plain disinterested with anything spiritual so to speak. Much less, analyze it and come up with some journal.

But I am back, I don’t know for how long, but for now, I am.

It was months when I left my job in Cebu in hopes of landing on a high paying one outside the country. It’s embarrassing to admit this, but I was jobless for more than half a year (as I couldn’t consider teaching English to Koreans part time, a serious job.)

Well yeah, at least for a time, my most basic needs were met. But when an opportunity opened for me to be a part of a huge company, I was torn between being comfy with the 60 pesos per hour joke I had, or a real career.

I’m glad I chose to take the risk. I was idle again for more than a month when I chose to get the exams for this corporation. So the in betweens was really a tough time. Believe me, 60 pesos per hour seemed really huge compared to having nothing at all. Do I make sense?

But yeah, God has other plans. I look on this plane, He looks at it in another perspective. And one thing I have learned during this phase of my life is that nothing is ever an accident. All the delays or what seemed to be denials, happened for a reason. It sure felt like nonsense when I was still in that interim, but looking back to it now, I’m glad I can say I smile.

I am a control freak. As much as possible, I want to know what I will be doing a week in advance. Heck, even a month in advance would do. But through the series of uncertainties I went through, I believe I can’t be in control. Things happen beyond my expectations, because it’s not up to me. It’s up to Him.

I was thinking, if God can put Joseph from being a prisoner to a prince in a snap, what is stopping him from doing the same to me? Well, probably the same issues Joseph had to face while in growing up. The delicate issues of the heart. The real deal on pride, sacrifice, true humility and who gets all the glory.

Once those things are settled, then I believe breakthrough will come.

Ah, the wonder of God’s ways. It gives me goosebumps thinking about it. He really has a plan.

God doesn’t play dice with the universe.

Yeah, the statement above was credited to no less than Einstein himself, but it doesn’t really take a genius to figure that out.

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

Take All of Me

Take All of Me
by Marty Sampson

You broke the night like the sun
And healed my heart with Your great love
Any trouble I couldn't bear
You lifted me upon Your shoulders

Love that's stronger
Love that covers sin
And takes the weight of the world

I love You
All of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
Take all of me

You stand on mountain tops with me
With You I walk through the valleys
You gave Your only Son for me
Your grace is all I rely on

I love You so, and I give up my heart to say
I need You so, my everything

----------------------


Lord, help me sing this song. Help me sing this song from depths of my heart and not only from my mind. Help me make this song more of a prayer than a mere utterance.

I want to sing this to You. But all I can I ever do is hum it.

I don’t have the audacity to say the lyrics. I’d rather weep.

I weep for my inability to keep my promises. I weep for my own unfaithfulness. I weep because one moment I praise you with my lips, then on the other I curse with my mouth.

“Take all of me” is such a strong phrase, Lord.

How can I say “All of my hope is in you” when at the back of my mind I have other plans when Yours won’t work?

I want to sing this song badly. It gives me goosebumps upon only hearing the intro.
But its words are all too strong for me.

I can sing, yes. But can I really?

So now, all I ask is for You to bring me to a place of surrender.

Then there, armed with nothing but tears, fall at Your feet and truly worship.

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