Friday, November 23, 2007

Lessons from the Sickbed

Stripped of blinders from my eyes, I saw life unfold as it is: simple and yet full of God’s glory.

Lying on a sickbed yet again has its way of clearing my own vision. Little things like burping and farting mean a whole lot, it made me audibly thank God for such neglected blessings. When you are lying there, stomach all bloated barely being able to eat and consequently not being able to heed nature’s call, I tell you – you will do the exact same thing.

It is funny how I deliberately chose to skip church recently due to my tight schedule at work, and as I found myself lying there, I was caused to watch several Sunday’s worth of sermon on Daystar. No doubt God is challenging me how poor my time management was, and how totally idolatrous my priorities were.

If pain is God’s loudspeaker, then His message couldn’t be any clearer. Though we live in the new covenant, we still have to heed his command to “remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.” If He being God rested on the seventh day, surely we need a day of rest as well.

Besides, as Christians, we operate not in the same way the world economy does. My source of income is not my job. My Source is God Himself.

Money comes as a result of my obedience to the Owner of the cattle of a thousand hills, not from unhealthy overtimes till daybreak or till the Lord’s Day.

People perish for lack of knowledge. I have to go through this horrible week because I chose not to listen. Other versions of the Bible would say that without vision, people perish. And what is true with nations, is also true with individuals.

It is for this reason that we have to hear from the Lord. From there, as the Lord gives the vision, we must pursue it with all our hearts. As we follow the vision, provision simply follows.

Nobody wins in this world’s rat race. In pursuit of the “good life,” people end up with broken relationships, poor health, and ungodly lives.

Indeed, what benefit is it for a man, to gain the whole world, yet lose his own soul?

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Sunday, September 30, 2007

Abba

I don’t understand your ways.
I don’t understand why I need to go through these.
I don’t just get it why such emotional rubbish should torment me day in and out.

Why this kind of pain, this kind of thorn?
Why of billions, me?
Ah, everything in my life now is totally beyond me.

One moment, I seem wise as a sage
Foolish on another, in as quick as half a heartbeat.
And yet I am audacious enough to call myself your son.

Oh have I made every effort to escape
From what seemed to be walls to imprison
When, really, are there to protect me.

My eyes are full of shame
My heart, guilty
My body, tired.

Over and over I promised
Not to hurt you, no never again
Yet at the sight of a brother
I falter, and forget my convictions altogether.

I hate the very thought of you knowing
I’m going through this and yet not lifting a finger
I hate it when at the sound of your voice
You created everything into existence
And yet you can’t even remove this thing
That has plagued me for so long.

Haven’t I cried enough?
Begged enough, fasted enough
Prayed enough, bled enough
Shouted enough, suffered enough?

How I wish I could hurt you
The same way you’ve caused me pain.
How I wish, oh, that you would know a portion of my pain
And that is enough.

At times, I rebel to deliberately hurt you
But only to realize I hurt myself more.
The world doesn’t want me
Doesn’t love me
Doesn’t care for me
Doesn’t give a hoot about me
Like it so deceptively declare.

And so I keep running back, though ashamed
To your arms and weep some more.
Your nail pierced arms are always ready
To embrace the prodigal that is me.

And once again, declare with the rest
Where else shall I go when you have the words of eternal life?

It’s no longer a cutesy thing to say; It’s true.

I’ve got nothing, no one.
But you, only you, my Jesus.

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