The Wonder of Char

Please don’t smile. I know, for most people especially those who have this word as part of their rich vocabulary, might find this entry to be ridiculous.

However, it is not my intention to kid around. I have my moments of total insanity and I am sure that this is not a part of it.

Coming to Cebu to work has been a learning experience for me, as I may have already pointed out in my previous blogs. And recently, I learned yet another interesting piece of information.

I got to use the word “char” in all its uniqueness. Not entirely sure what it meant, I began to explore the possibilities of using it. As a noun, as in “charness”. As an adjective, like in “charing”. And even a verb, as in “chinarut”.

Oh the wonder of Filipino semantics! We can adopt a specific language, real or inanimate, to suit our various whims!

Yet one fateful Tuesday morning at Lavada Queen while doing my laundry (or make that, while waiting for my laundry as the machine washes and dries them up,) I was just suddenly confused as to why I actually use the word.

I hear people always say it in reference to something said prior to that. Most of the time, it would be some powerful observation, something so true – that it borders into cheesydom. And so, as a result, the word is said to counter whatever negative effect the previous profound words shall accrue.

It made me wonder then why people have become so defensive.

Is it because we have become so shallow that anything deeply thoughtful turns out to be a threat?

I hope not. Yet it seems like evidence proves us otherwise.

I think we have been so accustomed to the frivolity of everything and everyone around us, that we never get to go about “placidly amid the noise and haste” anymore. One joke here and there is reasonable; after all, laughter is still the best medicine. But sheer flippancy? Now, that’s a totally different matter altogether.

It has been said that Filipinos are particularly good at laughing at their problems. But the bad thing about that is that problems being laughed at never go away. Sure, we may never look sorrowful as our foreign friends (or fiends) expect us to be, but we sure look pitiful in the long run.

Laughter is just medicine. But stopping there is no better than crying your heart out and killing yourself in the process. It’s supposed to counter the discouragement brought about by the most disheartening of circumstances so that we could muster enough strength to carry on. Not hanging around and looking like morons.

If we expect to ever improve as a nation or as a person we have to relearn the lost art of being serious.

Not sour seriousness. But a fresh look at reality.

That way we begin to live our lives, not out of fear that someone will reject us, but with a freedom that comes from the knowledge that tough times never last, but tough people do.

Char.

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Hurts

I know it hurts.

You have no idea how terrible it was for me to let you go. If you think it was all too easy for me to release you, think again.

Don't you realize that you are the only person I actually loved? That the rest before you were mere games and frivolity? That my world was shattered that very instant I heard the Lord tell me to let go?

My heart aches as it seems like you perceive me now as selfish. I pray that God will open your eyes as He did mine, that you will see beyond the realm of flesh and blood.

The confusion always lie in our ability to see through, you know. God's wonderful plan is laid out in his Word yet we only see through the murky glasses of humanity marred further by sin.

I dare not claim now to see clearly. If anything, I only see a rather blurry picture. But my heart leaps towards that destiny not because of what I saw. I trust the Person who revealed it more, than I trust the picture itself.

You may never quite grasp the importance of this ordeal now. Maybe not even in this lifetime. But as soon as we step into eternity I know this will be clear as crystal to you.

How can I call what I feel for you "love" when Love Himself calls it otherwise?

I think Christ has set the best example. And I think I'd rather believe what He says over what I or you or anyone thinks.

Besides, if I give myself wholly to you, only you will be stirred by my life. But if I allow God to break me, the rest of the world shall be touched by the pieces.

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Joy in Surrender

Giving up things is never easy. Sadly enough, most of us never get to fully experience the grace of God in our lives because we could never muster enough faith to believe for Him to provide for our needs, to make sure we receive what is only best for us, and to guarantee our growth as well.

Christianity is reduced to another set of self-help teachings devoid of the Cross of Christ and thus, the power of God. The way we evangelize these days is one proof. It seems like repentance is no more needed but only a simple prayer of acknowledgement. No more conviction of sin.

We then promise a life of peace and prosperity while the contrary is most often true.

Ours is a generation obsessed with removing the problem of pain and suffering from our doctrines. Yet while it seems true, I wonder why we don't produce much saints nowadays as before.

I mean, we are totally deceived if we dismiss the fact that early Christians suffered a lot for what they believe. They gave up a whole lot of things, if not everything. Their faith cost them their lives.

I wonder why, in the midst of the present affluence of the Church, we only achieved an iota of what the early Christians did. What went wrong there?

Sure, our evangelists can gather millions in one crusade, but what happens after that? Are decisions for Christ always equivalent to disciples of Christ?

It may be something how the gospel is preached, probably our generation is just plain idolatrous or both, I cannot be sure. But certainly there are fewer people nowadays who are willing to surrender everything for the sake of knowing Christ.

When will we ever learn the sweet paradoxes of Christianity? When will we realize that the Christian life isn’t as much of a life at all without death to self and all the desires of the flesh? When will we comprehend the reality that the only things we ever get to keep are the ones we give away for the sake of Christ and his Kingdom?

Sometimes, we think of God as some sadist, don’t we? Someone who is the ultimate kill-joy, delighting to see us cringe as he takes away something that really means a lot to us, or maybe at least something that brings us joy.

I am always guilty of this short sightedness. I say so, because God is not concerned with only the now, as much as He is with our future. Omniscient as He is, he sees the bigger picture and thus, works out that everything will always turn out for the good.

We may never fully understand why God always require surrender, or why it seems like pain characterizes most of our Christian walk. Maybe, our minds are too finite to understand. Or perhaps, we aren’t supposed to understand at all. That’s why it so pleases God when we trust Him without figuring it all out. It’s called faith. But then that’s a different blog entry altogether.

We should learn from Abraham here. We should see that when God demands our Isaacs to be killed in the Mount, He’s got a ram stuck in the bushes somewhere. The issue is not really with Isaac but with the idolatry in our hearts.

Funny thing is that we take things personally. We think God is against us having fun and being happy. Yet all the while that is exactly what God is trying to give us! Joy unspeakable! Pleasures untold! No eye has seen, no ear has heard… what God has in store for us!

Is that really so hard to understand? I don’t think so. It is just that we refuse to understand. I honestly think simple Math is so much more complicated than this.

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I was just wondering...

Why is it that Christianity nowadays seemed to be so different from the one ages before? One can look no further to contrast and to notice the difference.

We live in an age of instant coffee and fast food chains that has sadly come up with a form of born-again quick Christianity. We care more about decisions for Christ rather training disciples of Christ. Our meetings are characterized by the cute but pathetic programs of men rather than the raw but essential power of God. Everyone's concern seem to be their own glamour and not God's glory.

Where are those whose lives compel the rest of the crowd to say in their hearts, "We, too, want to know their God"?
Where is the power of God permeating our churches causing signs, wonders and miracles in the midst of those who badly need it?

Where are the prophets in our pulpits who give the word of the Lord as they heard it from Him - caring not even if those very words challenge the status quo and make a whole lot of people uncomfortable?

Are there no more John the Baptists, Charles Finneys and John Wesleys today but only evangelists-turned-salesemen and motivational self-help teachers behind our pulpits?

Are there no more preachings that so grip and so convict people of their pet sins - thus leading them into repentance but simply "seven steps to a better this and that" sermonettes that only makes us feel ever better about ourselves without God?

Lord, we repent for the mess we have wallowed in! We repent for deliberately choosing the things of this world over the awesome privilege of knowing you. We stand in awe of your magnificent deeds in the past. We read them in your Word and hear them spoken to us Sunday through Sunday, but something deep within us yearn for something more. We have to experience them!

In our hearts, we long for you to captivate us by your beauty again, and be mesmerized by your blazing eyes of fire! Transform us from mere pew warmers into an unstoppable prophetic people that will live to see their destinies and callings fulfilled in this time.

We languish for a visitation once again that the love we have for you - now growing cold due to the lust and cares of this world, will once again ablaze into one that is passionate and unrelenting!

Jesus! Remove the side-issues that so easily distract us. Turn the tables in the market places of our selfish hearts and transform them into altars of prayer for the nations!

All these - for the greater glory of Your Name!

Amen and amen.

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Unsent

I am sure there was a commotion in the heavenly realms when we met. Satan and his hordes must have been worried on the impact our meeting will have. And so, he devised a plan to ruin it.

Think about the way we met. It was divine appointment. I know it has it rough edges, but who would have thought it was really you?

But oh, I made a fool of myself by sinking down to the miry depths. I acted too selfishly when I was supposed to be selfless... indulged with my flesh when I was supposed to have it crucified... considered what I could get out of it instead of what I could have given.

Now, everything is screwed up. What was supposed to be a wonderful relationship became a dreaded one. I can only sigh in regret.

My heart aches to how stupid I have been. Yet crying over spilt milk will not change anything of the past. And so, I pray. On my knees, hands lifted up, my eyes gushing with tears, heart bursting even more - I prayed.

...that He who majors in turning an adulterer into a man after God's own heart will intervene and create a worshipper out of our stubborn hearts...

...that He who chooses to step in when other people would rather back out, will comfort us of his presence - giving assurance of forgiveness with the condition of true repentance...

...that He who transforms people by giving them new names, while the rest could only gossip, comment and judge, will wrestle with us - in the dark night of our souls leaving us limping for life, but with a new destiny associated to it.

I could only hope now, that things will work out for the good. I believe though, that everything still works out that way if our hearts beat for Someone who showed what it is to be a true friend, in the first place. And although it seemed impossible with finite minds and blinded eyes to see beyond the present circumstances now, I trust the heart of God who desires nothing but the best, and who freely gives anything and everything as long as it won't cause injury to our souls.

My desire is for you to fulfill your destiny. No more, no less. You know for a fact those prophetic words spoken over you when godly men laid their hands on you. Always remember those. Guard them with all your heart. Consider them sacred over anything else.

Oh, that you won't trade the treasures in store for you in eternity for some loose change in this lifetime!

Choose God's call over your life above the subtle voices luring you for anything less!

Know in your heart of hearts that just because you are under attack now, doesn't mean you are worthless. The opposite is true. Satan attacks you now, not because you are too weak, but because he is scared to wait - and wake up one day with you too strong for him to handle.

I commit to stand in the gap for you. To intercede for your healing. To utter a prayer for you when you can't - or even won't. To prophesy and speak your destiny into reality, even if the present circumstances depict otherwise.

At the moment, I surrender to God my all in all. I lay in the altar everything. For without the sacrifice, there can be no fire.

While everything seemed absurd, I choose to trust the Heart who knows my yesterdays and tomorrows at once. I believe if I release you and hold on to Him, somehow I will gain more. And it will only be thru that process that along the way, you will find your way back to Him too.

See you in the frontlines.

I will wait.

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